You Think You Know Me?
by Kyla Mizuki
Summary: Here's a look at how Hiei really feels when he's sitting on that windowsill. His thoughts on the 'jokes'... [You think you know me! You have no clue! Hiei yells, tears threatening to spill out.]...[Hiei's POV]
1. You think you know me?

Kyla: Hey, ya'll! What's up? This is just a little one-shot on our fave lil fire demon.. Hiei! Hope you like it! Please review and tell me what you think!

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**_You think you know me?_  
by  
_Kyla_**

So, you're just like everyone else?  
You think you know the real me?  
Well, guess again...

I'm not the cold-hearted, soulless monster that everyone says...  
That's why I cannot stand to be around a lot of people or even demons...  
Whenever I'm around Yusuke, Kuwabara, Kurama, and the others,  
they always somehow manage to crack a joke about the way I act or something...

It makes me angry and.. sad...  
Yes, sad!  
As I said before,  
I'm not some evil creature like everyone thinks..!

You know those "jokes", or whatever you might call them, say?  
They hurt... They really do, deep down...  
But I don't bother to try and change anyone's mind.

Why?  
Well, why should I?  
You and anyone else can think what you like...  
I just wish the sneers and harsh names would stop...

I don't let anyone else see the real me,  
the child-like, fragile soul that hides behind the icy walls around my heart.  
I never let slip a single tear in another's presence,  
only when I'm alone..  
in the darkness..  
hidden...

The pain I feel spreads through me constantly,  
the pain of being thought of as some kind of heartless monster...  
_Monster...  
_That one word hurts, and believe me.. it hurts badly...  
But, that's the way it's always been, and probably always will be.

There goes Yusuke again with another "scoff" at how I act when I'm around them,  
the way I'm always sitting on the windowsill, glaring through the pain,  
and the warm feeling of tears is building behind my eyes,  
crimson orbs blinking the unwanted tears away...

I'm stubborn, that's just the way I grew up,  
and that's why I've told no one of the way I feel,  
swore to never tell anyone of my secret pain, but..  
I can't take much more of this...

Desperately, I force back my tears for a later time..  
when I''m alone in the middle of the forest on a tree limb,  
where I can let out my unspoken hurt.  
My heart aches from all these "jokes", and suddenly,  
it's just too much...  
I have to let it out...

"You think you know me! You have no clue!" I yell, tears threatening to spill out,  
but I fight the urge to cry.. I won't cry in front of them...

I disappear from the room right as a tear rebelliously escapes my eye.  
It falls to the floor as a black gem, a crimson swirled into the center.  
It lands on the floor with a soft clink,  
the only noise that can be heard in the now silent room...

Yusuke, Kuwabara, Kurama, and Botan remain motionless and quiet,  
blankly staring at where I had just been,  
seeing only an open window, the curtains rippling quietly in the silence,  
a soft, warm breeze blowing through the thick silence...

_**THE END**_

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Kyla: So, what didja' think? Good? Bad? Okay? Review and let me know what you think! Me likie reviews...! 


	2. Crimson Rain

Kyla: Hey everyone! Well, I got the idea for this chapter in school when I was bored. I thought it'd be perfect for this story!  
Hiei: Gr... Must you torture me?  
Kyla: Yes, now be quiet and do the disclaimer.  
Hiei: Why should I?  
Kyla: Fine. Kura? How about you?  
Kura: Sure. Kyla does not, in any shape, form, or fashion, own Yu Yu Hakusho or any of the characters.  
Kyla: Thanks, Kura.  
Kura: You're welcome.  
Hiei: Hn... Baka yoko... Always showing off...  
Kyla: Well, I asked you if you wanted to do the disclaimer but as usual you refused.  
Hiei: Hn.  
Kyla: -mushroom sigh- Review and tell me what you think about this chapter, kay?

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_**Crimson Rain**  
by  
_**Kyla**

_Let the crimson rain fall...  
Let the pain slip away.  
A waterfall of blood...  
To wash away the hurt.  
Falling to the ground...  
A bloody downpour.  
It purges the world below...  
A soul finds temporary peace.  
As he sits in the crimson rain..._

I just can't take it anymore. I'm tired, so tired, of all the jeers and jokes... And, I've finally let my pain known to Yusuke, Kuwabara, Botan, and you, Kurama... I-I don't want to face any of you, especially not right now.

I've finally come to a stop after my quick flight from that room, and I collapse, panting, onto a tree branch somewhere in the park. Curling my knees to my chest, I bury my face in my knees and bite down hard on my lip in a desperate attempt to hold back my bitter, rebellious tears.

Not a sound escapes me as I hug my knees tighter, squeezing my eyes shut, trying to shut out everything. Why did it have to be like this? Why am I so weak? Why can't I just express my feelings better?... Why all this pain in my heart? Why won't it... stop? Isn't there a way to escape this? Why..?

As I rant my angry thoughts, I feel something move on my left side, and there is a sound like something sliding that catches my attention. Snapping my head up, I managed to see my sword slowly sliding out of its sheath. For, you see, my sheath is tilted downwards from my not setting it in my lap, and my sword was slipping out.

I quickly reach down to grab it, but the hilt has fallen too far for me to catch it by that part of the sword, so my fingers tighten around the blade instead, and, with a barely noticeable wince, I bring the sword and sheath up to my lap, carefully resheathing my weapon.

Blankly, I stare at my wounded hand and watch as crimson blood oozes from the two deep cuts, one across my palm and the other over the fingers. Surprisingly, I don't feel the pain I should be feeling, and I merely sit there watching.

Seeing my own flesh bleed entrances me, and I have no reason as to why. I ick up my katana and pull it from its holder, examining the cloody blade, and tentatively, I lick away some of the sticky, thick liquid.

I know it shouldn't, but... it made me feel... better, the sensation of mt own cold blood seeping out of my hand... The pain that was in my heart left me so quickly, and I felt... better, so much better...

As I gently take the katana's hilt in my uninjured right hand, I roll up my left pant leg and experimentally press the cold, metal to my flesh. Taking a deep breath, I mentally prepare myself, then snapping my ruby eyes open, determined and hardened into a glare, a frown of concentration pulls my lips downwards.

A small hiss escapes my lips as I firmly press the blade down then drug it across my leg. I screw my eyes shut in momentary pain, but that soon melts away while my body relaxes.

Suddenly, I feel more at peace... I know that if any of my teammates find out about this, they would be very "disappointed" that I "couldn't come talk to" them about my "problems", but they are only allies, right? Nothing more, why could they care? This takes the hurt away, at least for a while... I am weak, I know, but some comfort is needed.

With a small, crazy grin, I bring the blade to my face to lick my own blood from the weapon. The metallic taste sends a slight shiver up my spine, making me feel even better.

And, my soul is at peace... temporarily... And the rain begins to fall, washing the blood away, cleaning my slate, so to say...

_And the crimson blood runs down,  
Dripping to the ground...  
Staining the soft green grass.  
Perched there is the source...  
Of the crimson rain.  
A poor, innocent soul...  
Is releasing his hurt.  
The bloody rain rages and slows...  
The pain slowly retreats  
To reveal a blood-soaked world..._

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Kyla: Hm.. seems a bit darker than what I was going for... Cutting is wrong, and I know that, and Hiei will come around, too, in later chapters, promise!  
Hiei: You baka!  
Kura: The next chapter will be about mine and the others' reactions to Hiei's outburst from the first chapter, right?  
Kyla: Yes, indeedie. I dunno when I'll get the next chapter typed up. I'm supposed to be grounded right now... So, SH! Don't tell my dad I was on the computer, kay, Gotta go! My dad'll be home soon...  
Kura: You're such a bad girl, sneaking around behind your father's back...  
Kyla: I know.. .' But that is an unreasonable punishment for just not doing laundry when I was supposed to...  
Hiei: Hn. Just go away now.  
Kyla: Fine. Sayonara, minna-san!  
Kura: Bye!  
Hiei: Hn. 


End file.
